Do you ever feel anxious about money?
You might have a decent income. Bills paid. But every time you check your bank account, does your chest feel a little tight?
I used to feel like this all the time when I had unhealed money trauma.
And no, this doesn’t mean that you’re bad with money or need to be fixed. It just means you’re human.
Most people don’t talk openly about finances since money can be an emotional topic. Money trauma is real and can easily spill into other areas of your life.
Then, how do you heal your relationship with money, and why is it so important?
It’s not easy. It takes facing some uncomfortable truths about yourself, but a radical transformation is key to financial peace and living the life that deep down, you know you deserve.
If you’ve ever felt behind or ashamed when it comes to money, you’re not alone.
♥ ♥ ♥
How Does Money Trauma Impact You?
Money trauma is the emotional, psychological, and physical stress response that happens when your relationship with money is rooted in fear, shame, or survival.
Did your family grow up in impoverished conditions? Were you made to feel shame about money and buying things? Are you avoiding a bigger issue that leads to overspending?
These events aren’t just distant memories. They live in your nervous system.
Money trauma isn’t about being a drama queen about finances. It’s about your brain and body doing their best to keep you safe in situations where money once meant pain, instability, or pressure.
Common Reasons for Money Trauma
Here are some of the most common reasons for money trauma.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Fear of losing it all. You’ve worked hard to make six figures after past traumas around money.
- Limited disposable income. You don’t want to “risk” money that could go to rent, food, or kids.
- Past financial failures or debt. Creates shame or avoidance around investing altogether.
- Lack of consistent income. Especially common for freelancers, artists, or side hustlers.
- Uncertainty about taxes and legality. Don’t want to do something “wrong” financially.
My Story
My first experience with money trauma was graduating with student loan debt.
As an adult just entering my 20s, seeing the balance at $35k after graduation with no job or prospects on the horizon made me feel hopeless.
While I looked fine on the outside, on the inside, I was suffering in silence.
I grew up in a middle-class family as a child. While I never struggled for anything, I also never learned the concept of debt, budgeting, or interest.
The focus was on education. I just knew I was supposed to get a bachelor’s degree, no matter what.
If your parents never taught you financial literacy when you were younger, that’s out of your control.
But healing your relationship with money as an adult is.
Once I learned to use money as a tool, and not as a source for survival, that’s when my life started to change.
How to Heal Your Relationship With Money
1 | Forgive. And Let Go.
True healing doesn’t start until you get sick of your own sh*t.
You know those super uncomfortable feelings that come up from thinking about your money trauma? The emotions of shame, guilt, and regret?
Let those feelings wash over you. Let it sit and marinate in your psyche. And then?
Let them go forever.
Forgive yourself. But not so you can repeat the same thing over again. It’s to give you a clean slate to heal.
Grab a journal and write about childhood memories and limiting beliefs around money to understand the root of your money trauma.
Why it works: Healing is when you look at yourself in the mirror, take accountability, and identify the emotional triggers that got you here in the first place.
2 | Shift Your Money Mindset
Many people have a poor relationship with money due to a scarcity mindset.
They think wealth equates to being evil. Or that if someone else makes more money, it takes away money from them.
A scarcity mindset is taught through childhood experiences, unstable situations, and/or societal pressures.
How to Shift Your Money Mindset:
- Practice gratitude. You can’t attract money into your life without awareness and gratitude for what you already have.
- Retrain Your Brain. Read books and consume inspiring financial content from blogs, podcasts, and social media.
- Focus on Self. The “why” behind spending habits reflects your values and the type of relationship you will have with money in the future.
3 | Make Some More Money.
I love when jobs pass on the failings of social welfare and corporate responsibility onto you as a “spending” problem.
Then, they proceed to insult you further by telling you that you just need to cut back on expenses with a budget.
How do you cut back when you don’t make enough money for basic necessities?
The truth is:
The only way to heal your relationship with money is to make more money.
Women are naturally abundant. Once you learn how to harness your energy and start creating, you realize no one can ever take that from you.
Practical Ways to Make More Money:
- Use your employer to learn skills and increase your salary every two years.
- Learn to speak to people’s emotions and their pain points in their lives.
- Create a digital product or service that genuinely helps people solve a problem.
My relationship with money improved when I stopped trying to force restriction on my life and harnessed my creativity instead.
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4 | Set Financial Goals
The last payment to my student loans was an anti-climatic finish.
But the journey taught me a lot about myself in three years. The inner peace you feel from not worrying about debt is next level.
No matter how much debt you have, there is always a way out. Avoidance fuels anxiety, while visibility creates control.
- Make a list of all debts (amount, interest rate, minimum payment)
- Pick either:
– Highest interest first (avalanche method)
– Smallest balance first (snowball method)
When paying off student loan debt, the snowball method was a clear winner for me. Did it make logical sense, financially? No, but seeing that first loan with a zero balance was the jumpstart I needed to tackle the rest.
Seeing progress builds momentum.
5 | Treat Yourself – Don’t Restrict
The fastest way to survival mode is to restrict yourself from life’s pleasures. How do you fit your ever-evolving life into mini boxes on a spreadsheet?
Typical budgets feel restrictive. Let’s flip that.
Create a spending plan that honors beauty, pleasure, and embodiment. I take wellness seriously with things like candles, dance classes, therapy, or delicious food.
Choose one small item or experience to spend on that genuinely brings you joy, whether it’s a morning coffee or a random houseplant. Be fully present with it, no guilt-tripping yourself.
Feminine wealth isn’t just about bills. It’s about fulfillment. You thrive when you feel nourished.
6 | Know Your “Enough” Number
Most people think they need a high 6-figure salary to live the life they want.
There’s nothing wrong with striving for more, but it’s important to know your actual number of what you need to feel comfortable.
Without a clear target in mind, you’ll always feel like you’re behind. Instead of listening to others talk about high salaries, add up the monthly amount you need to feel safe, stable, and a little more than comfortable.
Close your eyes and imagine the version of you who feels calm and powerful with money.
What’s she doing? How does she live?
For example:
- Rent: $1,500
- Food: $500
- Fun: $300
- Debt: $400
- Total: $2,700/month
Why it works: Now you know what you’re working towards, and how far you are from it.
7 | Do a Weekly Emotional Check-In
I make tracking my current spending easy with a simple pen and notebook.
It takes less than five minutes to get a mental screenshot to assess my spending with curiosity, not judgment.
Regular check-ins every day keep me aware. Less overwhelming than trying to do a monthly audit or budget.
Why: Frequency beats intensity.
What to do: Every week, same day/time, spend 20 minutes:
- Reviewing spending
- Planning for next week’s bills
- Transferring savings/debt payments
- Journaling wins and lessons
Why it works: This keeps you emotionally and practically in a relationship with your money. It stops avoidance and builds resilience.
This Post Has Shown You How to Heal Your Relationship With Money
If you’ve struggled with money, you’re not alone, and you’re not flawed.
As women, we were never taught how to be in a relationship with money. Most of us were taught to fear it, hoard it, or give it away too quickly.
Learning how to heal your relationship with money is a journey of reclaiming your worth, your power, and your feminine essence.
Every step towards financial empowerment is a self-fulfilled promise to the wealthiest version of you.
