Every girl wants to live the soft life.
But what does that term even mean? I was definitely intrigued when I first heard it.
Is it a lifetime of pampering by a generous husband?
Is it about living in a high-rise and being a boss-babe millionaire?
I quickly found myself doing online searches for the ‘soft life’ as a single woman and what that meant for me.
What I thought was going to be the cheat code to female wealth and empowerment was surface-level content about going to the spa, getting massages, and taking bubble baths.
Sure, it was giving vibes. But not reality.
Most people aren’t revealing the truth behind the amount of sacrifice needed to get there.
Because let’s be real. There are no soft girl money manifestations to save you if your bank account is in overdraft.
There’s no such thing as living based on vibes or the universe, without disciplined action.
That’s not how a soft life truly works.
In my act of getting my life together, I quickly learned that the soft life many creators were advertising is nothing but myths, illusions, and escapism.
What Is Soft Living?
The meaning behind the phrase “soft life” originated in the Nigerian influencers, and learning how to live a soft life means rejecting hustle culture and living a life without struggle and stress.
I don’t like struggle, which is why I am so obsessed with my net worth and how to live a soft life for myself.
But let’s get one thing straight. The soft life is anything but soft.
At times, it can be isolating and expensive.
Emotionally. Mentally. Financially.
And if you’re not willing to boss up behind the scenes, then all you’ve got is an aesthetic.
Let’s talk about it!
#1 Money: Learn to Spend Like You’re Building an Exit Plan
A lifestyle isn’t soft if you are stressed out about affording it. But it’s important to define what your dream lifestyle looks like for you.
Unpopular opinion, I don’t budget. Budgeting gives survival mode. I don’t like cutting back my lifestyle or feeling constrained in any kind of way.
This is not to say it doesn’t work. It’s just not for me. Instead, I save to create a large pool of savings that I can withdraw money from and pay my expenses.
Some months, I spend little to nothing from my account, while other months, I’ve bought a plane ticket to another country on a whim.
As a sign of the scales, it’s all about balance.
I have no debt other than my mortgage. Credit cards never collect interest. Investing is automatic.
There is no such thing as living a soft life if money is always an emergency and you’re struggling just to survive.
It’s about being financially intentional – even if that means making temporary sacrifices. A soft life requires a financial strategy, not vibes and Afterpay.
What That Looks Like For Me:
- Paying myself first with every deposit that hits my account, not waiting for what’s left over after bills
- Living with roommates (I’ve lived with co-workers and best friends to save to buy a home)
- Upskilling to secure a higher-paying role every two to three years
- Learning DIY and thrift where it makes sense (sewing, FB Marketplace is the G.O.A.T!)
- Investing, paying off debt, and creating multiple streams of income
Many lifestyles are based on illusions from social media instead of the actual sacrifice and consistency it takes to build or have anything of value.
Financial discipline is key!
#2 Relationships: Stop Entertaining Chaos You’ve Outgrown
Whew…this one is still fresh. I’m still learning this, even in my 30s.
You can’t have a soft lift with people who are loud about their insecurities.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has insecurities.
But when someone chooses to project their insecurities onto others because they refuse to look in the mirror and heal, then there is no amount of fixing, over-giving, or proving yourself worthy to someone who does not internally believe it of themselves.
Do not keep relationships solely based on how long you have been friends with someone as a way to prove your loyalty. This is the fastest way to miss out on your dreams and blessings.
Fulfilling, valuable, and genuine relationships don’t work that way. Having this mindset will make you prime for manipulation, narcissistic behaviors, and burnout.
Healing means choosing peace over people who confuse drama and chaos with depth. Walking away is soft life and “that girl” behavior.
And once you hit this level, not everyone gets access to you once you start acting like you matter.
I took the break as a way to leverage a professional network and connections to get into affluent spaces.
Networking is nothing more than genuinely getting to know people in a professional setting.
Leveraging connections and access is easier than figuring things out on your own. You can still do it, but alignment with people with an abundance mindset and who are on your same level is key.
#3 Career: Stop Clocking In For Comfort When You Know You’re Meant for More
I’m still working on this. It’s not that I hate my job per se, I just hate being in a cage.
Every job and career change has led to an increase in salary, skills, and experience. I’m probably the most qualified person to start a business, yet it took me so long to start.
Eventually, that distant cry for freedom will get louder. And you can’t Pinterest your way to the soft life if your job has you spiritually bankrupt.
Whether it’s your toxic boss or the caged feeling of being on someone else’s business plan, you deserve to live a more fulfilling life.
Here’s How to Start:
- Identify a side hustle or income stream that aligns with your soul (and not just what’s profitable or trending)
- Create before you consume – are you using social media platforms to the fullest extent, or are platforms using you?
- Set boundaries at work – Some people may overextend themselves to be seen at work, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Be a team player but not a team workaholic.
- Update your resume and interview, even if you’re not actively looking for a job
- Know when to exit stage left and how to plan your exit before desperation kicks in
A soft life means creating income that matches your energy, creativity, and goals – even if that means starting slow without a clear direction.
You might not be able to quit your 9-5 job tomorrow, but you can start planting those seeds today.
Comfort will kill your calling if you let it.
#4 Beauty: Just Because The World is Getting Ugly Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be
The soft life is about embodying feminity. It’s loving yourself enough to show up even when no one is looking, encouraging you, or cheering you on.
When your outer world becomes chaotic, taking care of self is a necessary grounding ritual, not something to be seen as a chore.
No, this doesn’t mean you need to do a full face of make-up, but it does mean caring for your physical self as a reflection of your internal standards.
This year, I’ve been intentional about daily exercise and developing a personal style. When you look put together not for validation but because you like the way you feel when you do, it changes your attitude.
People notice the shift and subconsciously even treat you better.
And I don’t care if everyone else is dressed in their pajamas at Wal-Mart, you’re somebody important and you need to act like it.
What That Means:
- Moving your body daily (doesn’t have to be hardcore exercise at the gym – it could be gardening or going for a walk around the neighborhood)
- Creating a self-care routine for hair, skin, and nails. Clean out your beauty drawer of old and expired products and be intentional about the products you use.
- Do things for the enjoyment of it and not what the beauty industry convinces of you – I wear my natural hair with butterfly clips to heal my inner child and I still look good everywhere I go.
#5 Mindset: Stop Romanticizing Struggle + Choose Peace Over Purpose
When change is on the horizon, you’ll notice some of us are more comfortable suffering than succeeding because most of us were never shown softness as a safe option.
But the soft life starts in the mind. You have to stop normalizing stress, chaos, procrastination, and survival mode as your personality.
Productivity and hard work to enjoy life are all tenets of capitalism. I’ve fallen victim to this, working three part-time jobs when I was younger and bragging about how hard I worked. Ew. Never again.
You are allowed to unlearn the idea that you must earn rest, joy, or peace. The soft life is about having permission to thrive without apology.
What That Actually Looks Like:
- Challenging thoughts that tell you a life of ease is “lazy” or “unrealistic”
- Letting go of guilt when you do less, rest more, or prioritize yourself
- Replacing the “struggle story” you keep repeating with one rooted in worth
- Affirming softness as your standard, not your reward
- Protecting your peace the same way you used to protect your pain
This Post Has Shown You How to Live a Soft Life
Living the soft life comes with accountability and a radical acceptance of self.
But there’s no need to overhaul your life in one night. Feminine structure isn’t about perfection, it’s about practice.
Every day that you show up for yourself out of self-love, the closer you get to building a life of ease that feels more like you!
