Ever wondered what emotions influenced you to buy the most?
Emotional spending can be obvious. But the trigger isn’t always a big emotion. Sometimes it’s a small feeling that creates the urge to buy something.
Spending is about more than numbers on paper.
I’m not aware of all emotional spending triggers, but these are the ones that I’ve personally struggled with…
Let’s talk about it!
1. Stress: “I deserve something nice.”
Stress is one of the more obvious emotional spending triggers for me.
When I miss a deadline at work or my inbox gets bombarded with Slack messages, that’s when the urge to shop hits me hardest. I became a regular at my local Goodwill.
At first, it didn’t feel like overspending because the thrift store was already cheap.
But what began as a hobby (if we can really call shopping that) spiraled into me spending over $100 across multiple visits.
I knew something had to change when I started hoarding things in my garage to make space for new stuff.
Try this instead
Move your body to release stress.
I know some people resort to self-care like reading a book or taking a bath, but that doesn’t work for me. When I’m feeling stressed out, it’s like something is building up inside that I need to release asap.
And that starts with moving my body.
I’ll do things with immediate benefits, like going to the gym. I don’t lift weights, but a 30-minute cardio session does wonders for my mood.
Cleaning also works. Vacuuming a space, folding laundry, or wiping down counters takes my mind off what made me feel bad. A clean space is like having a clean slate in life and in your mind.
If I’m not in the mood to clean, I’ll dance my heart out. When energy is low, I’ll take a walk. Or do yoga. Anything to get physically moving.
When you find reward in other ways that actually benefit your life, you realize that relief doesn’t always have to come through your wallet.
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2. Boredom: “I just want something to do.”
Boredom used to be how I read 900-page Harry Potter books when I was younger. Today, it means opening phone apps to TikTok, Instagram, and your favorite retailer.
The more time you spend browsing personalized recommendations, the easier it is to find something that feels worth buying.
Before you know it, I have 3 items in my cart just because the algorithm gave me something to focus on.
With emotional spending triggers, this one can go under the radar because you may not even feel like you’re shopping emotionally.
You’re just bored.
But if shopping has become your entertainment, those little purchases can add up quickly.
Try this instead
Invest in a solo project.
Focus on a solo project or side hustle that you genuinely find interesting.
With so many distractions around us, it’s more important than ever to make space for creativity.
I started a blog as a solo project because I wanted to get better at digital marketing and storytelling as a second income. I knew I enjoyed writing, but putting in the work to master a craft feels different.
But creating isn’t just about making money.
I’ve also started a garden before out of boredom, and I can honestly say there are few things better in life than harvesting a vegetable you’ve grown from seed.
When you shift from a consumer to a creator mindset, pleasure comes from making progress over time, rather than immediate gratification that keeps you in a cycle.
Don’t get caught up in perfection when you create. Just being in the creative process itself is more productive than scrolling.
3. Comparison: “Maybe I need that too.”
Comparison is one of those sneaky emotional spending triggers that influence your behavior.
I remember when I used to watch hair videos on YouTube. It used to just be passive entertainment for me until things got serious with the natural hair movement in 2015.
Suddenly, my simple wash routine was trash.
I “upgraded” to sulfate-free shampoos, mousse, moisturizers, detanglers, oils, gels, and creams. I created problems when there was none.
Just because everyone else was.
That’s the thing about comparing yourself. When you see everyone else doing something, you feel like you’re the one who is wrong and out of the loop.
And social media makes this incredibly easy. You can go from casually scrolling to researching a $400 purchase in about five minutes.
Try this instead
Take a social media break.
We love to watch others’ transformations and journeys, but you can also admire someone’s life without treating it like a shopping list to fill a void.
Last month I took a social media break. The difference between how I felt living my regular life vs. watching highlights of strangers’ lives put things into perspective for me.
A lot of what is considered “normal” with social media today actually isn’t the universal standard. Not to mention, with AI, you have to be more skeptical of what you consume.
When you reduce the noise of social media, your honest thoughts and desires finally have somewhere to land.
If I’m unsure about a purchase that I want, I’ll save the image instead of buying the item.
Then I’ll ask myself,
“Would I still want this if I had never seen someone else with it?”
If the answer is no, that’s a sign of reacting to comparison rather than genuine desire. When it comes to social media, I always wait a few days before making a purchase.
You might find that the urge disappears once the comparison does.
4. Loneliness: “I want a little treat.”
Sometimes shopping fills a social gap.
I’ve talked before about spending a lot of time alone. Your friends are busy. You don’t have plans this weekend. You’re craving connection, but instead of reaching out, you start browsing.
Shopping online can give you a tiny sense of excitement.
Something is coming in the mail. You get to anticipate it. You get the notification that your package shipped. Then you get to open it.
For a moment, something is happening. That little rush can become a substitute for connection.
Try this instead
Reach for a person before you reach for your phone.
Text a friend. Call your sister. Meet up for coffee. Don’t have anyone available? Go somewhere other people are around.
One of my favorite ways to have a solo date is to take the day off and go to the beach alone. It’s not packed because it’s during the week, but you’re still around other people without forcing an unwanted connection.
You can swap the beach for a park, library, or a local restaurant. It also takes the awkwardness out of being solo.
I’m not always up for forced interactions, so I’ve also surprisingly found comfort in getting lost with the characters in a book.
There’s a difference between solitude you choose and isolation you’re trying to escape. Sometimes the purchase isn’t what you need.
You just need a little more life around you.
5. Celebration: “I have to buy something because I earned it.”
I am the first person to treat myself because if you don’t celebrate yourself, who else will?
When I paid off my student loans, I blew the next “payment” on shopping, restaurants, and a luxury spa treatment.
I knew I was celebrating by spending, and honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
But when every good thing becomes a reason to treat yourself, you start confusing the cost of an experience with how special it is.
For example, last year I could have bought a ticket to Italy for my birthday. It would have been the perfect Instagram-worthy vacation.
Instead, I celebrated at an art gallery opening at a downtown museum. There was art, music, food, and drinks. I had a great time with strangers at an amazing location overlooking the city.
And it was free.
This isn’t to say that a trip to Italy would have been a bad choice. I love traveling.
Sometimes we spend money because we genuinely want the experience. Other times, we spend because we think the experience needs to look impressive to count as a celebration.
Try this instead
Stop equating money with fulfillment.
Before automatically reaching for your wallet, ask yourself:
What would actually make this feel special?
Maybe it’s a nice dinner. Maybe it’s a trip. Maybe it’s a spa day. Or maybe it’s an afternoon at a museum, a day off from work, or dinner with people you love.
You don’t have to choose the cheapest option every time. But I spend because you want the experience. Not because you feel like you have to spend money to make the moment meaningful.
Balance is being able to enjoy both.
